Episode V
The moon really is made of cheese!

As you might have expected, the moon is overrun with craters, ledges, ramps, caves, monsters, and moon palaces. The first destination is the moon palace, but don't bother trying to park your ship... or... whale in front of it since the high tech futuristic engineers didn't consider that someone might want to land on a surface that isn't perfectly 100% level.

Make your way through the lunar path and complimentary myriad of space puddings.

Eventually you will find yourself at the Lunar 3-Wheeler Tracks

Better known as:

The home of the bearded creepy moon man.

Who is, coincidentally, a storehouse for everything you ever wanted to know about the Final Fantasy IV storyline that has, until now, remained a loose end or assumed plothole. That's right, even the big stupid whale is explained.

Wait... I just answered that.

To sum up, Lunarians are creepy people from the moon (would have never expected), there is an evil moonman controlling Golbez, and there is a giant on Earth who wants to destroy... Earth...

At this rate, I'd say they still have a few thousand years to wait.

Ah! The question we've all been waiting for.


In this context, he's actually saying that the whale was made by his father who happened to also be a creepy moonman. This revelation only serves to accent the stupid fact that the damn thing can't land on flipping craters that cover 85% of the moon's surface.

Beside being an extreme amount of white and blue, FuSoYa comes into your party at level 50 with all the good spells standard making him loads more important than anything he had to tell you.

Don't be so quick to head back to Earth yet, after all, it isn't as if there is a giant trying to terminate all life upon it. Instead, make a visit to this isolated cave:

...And prepare yourself for the stuff that nightmares are made of.

This cave is, at once, the scariest and most asinine location in the entirety of Final Fantasy IV. To make it even more disturbing, only a small fraction of these guys will even allow you to change your name with the others repeating things such as, "Hmmm Hmmmmm..." And of course:

Once you've gotten your fix of this place, or whatever you want to call it, hop on your whale and head back to Earth.

Oh no! Looks like evil is afoot, being as there is shaking and dimming lights, this time on a global scale!

I wonder if it's a giant trying to terminate all life on Earth?

It is! And apparently he's started the massacre at the people having a picnic in the shade of those mountains, the horror!

Is there any hope for the Earth? Apparently Rydia doesn't think so.

End Episooode!

(The moon is a lot like Victorville, CA.)