Episode II
"Underdeveloped characters make good bosses"

I admit, discarding your old ways and becoming a Paladin was pretty awesome but I don't know if it merits exclaiming and questioning a double set of ellipses.

I don't know if it's just me, but I'd expect this "legendary sword" to be pretty damn good, but of course, a little while later you'll be buying a sword whose power doubles this one from some town weapon shop.

Hmm, I feel sort of uncomfortable taking advice from a town elder who willingly admits he knows absolutely nothing about anything. He should give himself more credit, after all, he's a master of being badly translated.

Before actually taking the Serpent Road talk to this guy:

It's easy to do something for an undefined amount of time purposely given with no reference points. In this guy's logic, I also just wished ever since, therefore I am still not impressed with the knowledgeless elder.

After you take the Serpent Road you'll find yourself all the way back at Baron, talking to the townsfolk will give you hints at where you should go. The clues are subtle and slight, for example: "There is a karate man in the Inn"

Upon entering the Inn, you'll find Yang, surprise, surprise.

You'll have to face Yang and his two henchmen in battle, but if you think a plot twist is coming, think again.

Yang is a weakling and goes down easily, especially with the help of Tellah's newly remembered spells, but nothing is going to stop him from telling you to Shut up! before you put him down.

That includes the fact that you didn't even say anything...

And the award for worst possible grammar and diction goes to... Tellah!

After properly catching up and reuniting with Yang in the Inn, head for the very convenient secret waterway into the castle. Upon reaching the castle you'll be greeted by Baigan the Cheif Guard of Baron who will also join your party.


The only thing fishy is that getting Baigan in your team would mean that you'd have 6 members where 5 are only allowed in the engine of the game. So naturally, he turns into a boss monster. Rawwr.

After you kill Baigan you'll get the opportunity you've been waiting for since the beginning of the game, finally being able to confront the King of Baron to give him a piece of your mind.

Okay, save your breath, he's going to turn into a boss monster too.

You see? I don't want to say I told you so but...

Well, I guessed that the King would turn into a boss monster but never in my wildest dreams did I envision it being such an ugly one. Kainazzo is, hands down, the most horrendous looking creature Final Fantasy IV has to offer. Get your fill of his ugliness now because in after a couple lit-3's he'll be put down for good.

...But not without a last attempt to squash you on your way out of the throne room. Luckily Palom and Porom are there to sacrifice their lives to save you by casting stone on themselves. Soft would cure any other case of petrification but doesn't for this one. That's due to the um.... the fact that there is no reason. But rest assured, you can't heal them, reason or not.

Oh, and in case you were wondering if the King of Baron's dissapearance counts as the loss of an elderly man.

It does.

(If I don't get institutionalized from having recurring night terrors about Kainazzo)