Episode II
"Al Queda, eat your heart out."

Okay, so the guy wasn't actually too far off. Kain and Cecil really do make a pretty unstoppable force. In fact, for the next few hours of gameplay, consider yourself to be fighting a formidable opponent if they're able to hit Cecil for more than 2 damage. But this is getting ahead of ourselves, first of all, you have some very important business in the town outside of the castle.

This business consists of walking around and harassing people for taxes as well as showing off that you're a studly Dark Knight. Expect comments such as "Your armor is so dark! Are you a bad guy?" and of course the very believable dialogue of this young lad.

You're going to want to make sure to drop in to see Cid. Okay, actually he's sleeping and you'll only be able to get consistent strings of Z's, ellipses, and something about an engine out of him. But you can meet his daughter who will give a mouthful of words in no particular order "More all night work. He thinks he's young. Town folk speak ill of the soldiers and the king."

Oh, and in case you're ever having an argument with Cid that concerns buoyancy or it's principles, give it up.

Cid's got every end covered; I'll bet he'd play a damn good game of Baulderdash... Okay, so before you take off be sure to check for items stashed in trashcans, bushes, and of course, floating in random spots in the water (Spoils from Cid's buoyancy experiments?).

Think of entering the Misty Cave as getting on board an airplane and your weapons as box-cutters. The enemies will be like the passengers and flight staff that resist your hijacking, you can take most of them out with one or two swipes.

I never quite understood this part, appearantly there is an invisible panel here that plays the following sound every time you step on it.

I got stuck on this part for three weeks because I kept doing what it told me to do and I could never figure out why the game wasn't progressing. The trick is to do the opposite of what the recording tells you, tricky stuff.

A monster at the end of a creepy cave full of mist? Not a chance! This question always reminds me of the "dead-f***ing-obvious" questions Steve used to ask the 3-year-olds on the Nickelodeon show, "Blue's Clues".

At this point, you've succeeded in stealing the aircraft. Now it's time to face your final obstacle, DENSE CLOUDS!

A boss that totally sucks, transforms in 2 minute intervals, and hits you with a strong area attack if you attack it while transformed. Why does this sound so familiar? Anyway, make sure to take great pleasure in killing D.Mist, it's not like you're killing someone's mother or anything.

Once you maneuver through the clouds pilot over to Village Mist.


Congratulations you're now a full-fledged terrorist! Make sure to dispose of any survivors, for instance, this innocent girl.

Watch out terrorists, it's George W. Bush! I mean Titan!