Episode I
"The Adventure Begins"

We start Final Fantasy IV in the midst of a terrible wrongdoing by none other than... THE RED WINGS! Cecil is the leader of this merciless band of cute little clones who do things such as ask sadistic questions and ANSWER THEMSELVES! These guys are the epitome of "bad-ass" as we can see in the following picture.

After witnessing the group ruthlessly murder a few senior citizens and steal their bling-bling, Cecil, the lead role in Final Fantasy IV, is faced with groups of monsters that attack the airships because they're monsters; and monsters are mean. Cecil unleashes a variety of attacks that kill any horde of aggressive enemy force in seconds, of course once you get control of Cecil he magically forgets how to do them and never remembers for the remainder of the game.

Wow, impressive, I guess Cecil just improvised this once, this move would sure come in handy against those damn zombies you face 30 minutes later in the game.

Cecil decides to ask the king why he's being ordered to kill off 70 year old men and women, so naturally, he's "relieved of his command" and given the task of hijacking an airplane and crashing it into the summoner village, oh wait, I mean delivering a package. I swear I always wanted to get the King in my party JUST once so I could go to Namingway and rename him "Osama". You'll want to pay close attention to the advice Kain gives you in the following sequence.

I'm not sure who or what Kain is really referring to but I have reason to believe it's the priceless information of this man:

There are a few other people in the castle that will give you information that is important also such as, "Value your life!" Once you're done trying to encode all of this useful information into your long term memory you can continue on to the first appearance of Cecil's side dish, Rosa. If you speed through this scene it's much more touching, but if you take your time with it... Well... Let's have a look.

I'm not sure weather Cecil should be touched and thank her for being concerned or be totally offended and bash her face in with the side of his helmet. Nonetheless, Cecil knows from EXPERIENCE that there will be rewards for putting up with Rosa's mistranslated dialogue. He goes to sleep on his freshly changed sheets that night like a true bad-ass: In full dark knight AF armor. Dark Knights know no such thing as "comfort", they're soldiers. Anyway, after a pitiful conversation with Rosa and then himself you realize Cecil is like a big teddy bear inside. Either that or just a whining baby with lines like "I'm just a Dark Knight with no courage!"

Before you head off in the morning, be sure to get some inspiration from this local.

Oh yeah! A big grin will streak across the players face now. A true geek like me will even physically say out loud: "Well GUESS what!? WE ARE A TEAM BEYOTCH!" Unfortunately, however, this guy must have been too lost in his enthusiasm to consider the possibility that the duo would run into a merciless killing machine when they stepped foot out of town.

...Either that or an eagle.